Holy Merde.

So here's one important word that you really MUST be familliar with to survive in France...

Merde.

"Merde," is pretty much the equivalent to every swear word in the English language, and the French use it like it's going out of style.

Anyway, last Saturday night was one of those "holy merde" kind of nights. I mean literally, it was a holy night, and I was in deep, deep, merde.

I go to a catholic private school. That part is pretty self- explanatory. But up until last Saturday, there was really no indication that this school had any religious affliliation whatsoever.

However, last Saturday night, all the Dufossez's et moi piled into the Peugot and headed to Beaucamps (my school). We were guided right upstairs to the giant study hall room, which was already overflowing with students of all ages...and all their parents.

The event is called "Messe de Rentree," and it's basically just a "welcome back to school" gathering that Beaucamps has every year.

It starts out with a GIANT, traditional, catholic church service in the study hall. There are several priests, gospel, serman, music, and communion...you know...the works.

I have to be honest. It was boring. Though I'm not blaming my boredom on my incomprehension of the french language, this time. Just like in american church, the only words necessary for full understanding are, "ouvrir vos coeurs a Dieu." (open your hearts to God)

Don't get me wrong. I think believing in The Big Man is a great thing. I'm just not a big supporter of organized religion. And no, it's not only because I like sleeping in on a Sunday morning, mom and dad.

And in my opinion, catholic church is the worst possible place to "ouvrir vos coeurs." But I'm not going to elaborate on my religious beliefs over a blog, because trust me, you WILL disagree, and you WILL most likely be offended. You can just side with every other adult in my life, and blame my convictions my naive adolesence.

By the time communion rolled around, it was nearly 8 o'clock, I hadn't eaten anything since lunch, and I was starving.

The priest gave brief instructions on how to obtain one of these sacred wafers, and everyone in the room dispersed immediately.

As I waited in my designated line, I pondered the correct way to recieve The Body, and I hoped that "Amen" would be sufficiant in both the american and french church. As I approached the front of the line, my stomach started growling, and I knew I would drop over dead if I didn't eat something pronto.

Eventually it was my turn, so I walked up to the priest, one of my hands cradeling the other, and extended my arms. The same movements I had done 100 times before. He placed the wafer delicately in my hands, and said some sort of blessing en Francais.

At this moment, I nodded slightly and said, "J'ai faim."

WHAT?!

That was NOT the "Amen" I had been rehearsing in my head. I then stood there for a second, trying to figure out if I had actually just said that aloud.

The look on the priests face confirmed my disbelief...

With that, I quickly put my head down, shoved the bread in my mouth, and endured the walk of shame back to my seat.

>>>> For those of you not so keen on the french scene, "J'ai faim" means "I'm hungry."

MERDE.