The Events of Payton's Tuesday...

1) hit snooze three times on her alarm, (one more time than the usual) therefore losing her 10 minute slot in the bathroom. She rolled downstairs at 10 after 7, leaving her just enough time to shove a plain piece of bread down her throat, and down her black coffee.

2) got her math test back. She got a 0, and ironically enough, it's the best grade she's gotten so far. She usually gets a nice little red "X" at the top of the page with a very encouraging "try harder, you stupid American" comment written next to it, so she really does see this as an improvement. I don't know about you, but that would definitely make me want to try harder. I'm coming to realize that the French believe in tough love. They say it takes a true genius to not just fail, but get EVERY SINGLE QUESTION wrong on a test, so she's just chalkin' this one up to her sheer geniusness.

3) ate a personal pizza the size of a big- rig truck tire for lunch today at The Foyer. Her stomach is not happy with her, and coincidentally, her gag reflexes are agreeing with it. Don't you hate when your body wages war against you?

4) hoarded all her friends' (and everyone's within a 10- foot radius of her) soda cans after lunch. Okay, that may be a lie. She may have pried them out of their hands mid- sip, causing mass chaos throughout The Foyer, ultimately resulting in a 46 French to 1 American battle, right in the middle of the restaraunt. But you can be the judge of that one...c'mon, it's Payton. Which story is more probable?

(She was taking the cans for her own personal collection, by the way. Her bedroom is like a freaking dumpster. She has trash everywhere but in her actual trashcan. After two months, she is still amazed that everything is written in French. So she refuses to throw anything away. She has a problem. Alert the media. "Hoarders" could make a pretty decent episode out of her, I do believe.

"American girl, living in France for one year, can't throw anything with any hint of French influence away. How will her hoarding problem ever be solved?" But the better question:

What the hell does she expect to do with it in 8 and a half months, when she has to pack her entire life into two suitcases, once again?

...and to that last question, my friends, I answer:

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.

5) is about to go intentionally fail another math test. Or unintentionally. We'll see how it all plays out. Remember...she's a genius.

^^^ moments before WWIII at The Foyer.

^^^ preparing for battle...