Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day.

Like all things, this day always arrives whether we want it to or not, and regardless of our feelings towards it.

In my 17 years on this planet though, I've come to find out that there are only two types of Valentine's Day participants, each type expressing only one emotion: anticipation...or dread.

TYPE #1: the hopeless romantics

Emotion: anticipation

And in the "type #1" category, we have two subgroups:

THE COUPLES

We all know this group. They're the ones who are standing in front of your locker EVERY MORNING playing tonsil hockey. And after many attempts to get them to move just 6 inches in either direction, your only option is to literally pull their heads apart. Yes,these couples exist in everyday life, but things just get 10x more intense on Valentine's Day. They're the ones who buy eachother flowers, and expensive jewelry, and do the things that they should be doing everyday, but feel doubly obligated to do on this occassion. Unless you're in this group yourself, they're pretty much just the group that makes you want to puke.

THE SECRET ADMIRERS

These are the individuals who are inspired by "The Couples," and can't wait for Valentine's Day to come so they finally have an excuse to make a move. These are the one's who wake up on February 14th every year, and believe that something magical is going to happen. You can spot these types easily: just look at any group of teenagers. More discreetly, they're all the kids that you can just tell took a little bit more time to get ready this morning. Then the more obvious, all the girls who are literally wearing an article of clothing with hearts on it. These are the people who save up all their hope and courage for this one day, write annonymous love letters, and pray to God that a flying baby in a diaper shoots them in the back with an arrow.

TYPE #2: the sinics

Emotion: dread (secretly) ANGER (outwardly)

Subgroups:

THE BELLIGERENT

This is the group that wants you to think they don't care about the holiday. They wear black, tear down decorations, and scream obscenities at the happy couples...and for one reason only: they're bitter. They're bitter out of jealously, and they're jealous that they can't participate in this holiday. Usually they have a broken heart due to a recent breakup, and most likely they were the ones who recieved the news, not the ones who did the breaking. Of course they dread Valentine's Day, because they have to go through a whole day watching happy people have what they don't. They find this unfair, which is why they lash out at everyone else.

Last but not least, we have...

THE GENUINELY OBLIVIOUS

These are the people who make it halfway through the day before realizing what day it really is. And upon hearing the news, absolutely nothing changes. They aren't bitter, or hopeful, or angry, they just could honestly care less. Valentine's Day is just another day to them, and they are unaware of the interminable love fest and complete madness going on around them.

There is, however, one more group that I forgot to mention. They are, of course, the minority of the holiday, but still hold a designated place of their own...

this group is rightfully named:

THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE STUDENTS IN FRANCE

Consequently, this is the group that I find myself in. Basically, this is an extension of the "Genuinely Oblivious," with a few more specifications. These are the people who woke up this morning, thre on a sweatshirt and jeans, and went to school. It's not necessarily that they don't care about Valentine's Day, it's more the fact that it doesn't matter whether they care or not. Regardless of how they feel, they are still in France, while all their loved ones are still in America. They find it ironic that they are in the love capital of the world, yet the have no desire to celebrate it. They realize that they are surprisingly thankful that they don't have to do the awkward, Valentine's Day gift exchange with their boyfriend, (or girlfriend) but they do miss the yearly cards and chocolate form their parents, and the company of their friends. They hope everyone is having a great Valentine's Day, however you are choosing to spend it, and they want you to know they're thinking of you.

^^^ see what I did there? Yeah, I know, I'm lame.

Well anyway, I hope you have a TOTALLY GAY* day.

* and when I say "gay," I mean happy, of course.